Yes, I am that guy with the cool ute. I’m known by my ute. I’m loved for my ute. Every time I drive by, people will stop, agape, and watch me speed off into the distance, ute canopies bumping along out back. They’ll know it’s me. It’s only natural. People know that even though I live in a country town (far from the big city lights of Melbourne) I’m no small-town kid. I’m someone wherever I am, and that gives me respect.

I do people favours too. I drive people around, transporting furniture, boxes of fruits, cages of animals, farm equipment, you name it I’m there. What’s the point of having an awesome ute with a big tray on the back if you can’t help out your fellow townsfolk.

The art of strapping down large and often strange-shaped objects is something I’ve been working on for many years. I’ve honed that skill down with a fine-toothed comb. I’ve needed to, because I’ve got the biggest ute in town. But this is why people love me so much. I’m always there when they need me, when they’re in a pickle I’ll always the guy you can count on to lend a helping hand. I’ll just throw their goods on the back, aluminium trays polished to mirror perfection yet with the strength of a bear- and whisk them away to their desired location- even if it’s an hour’s drive- because I’m that sort of bloke.

Just don’t ask me to lend you the ute because I’m the only one that can handle this beast. Don’t even try it. And I always keep one of my aluminium toolboxes fully stocked with equipment just in case a friend needs a handyman. I believe in living by example, in helping, in self-assurance in the face of the vast distances you see in many tiny towns. I love my ute, it’s big part of my identity. Give me a call and you’ll see me coming a mile away.