I’m the clumsiest person alive. I don’t know how but I somehow drop or knock over anything within my reach. For example, if I had a dollar for every time my knife and fork fell off my plate when I was carrying it back to the dishwasher, I’d be a millionaire. If we included the number of times I then went on to drop my plate and completely shatter it, I’d be a billionaire. You’re probably starting to get the picture now, and it’s not a pretty one. 

You may be wondering where this story is going. Well, unfortunately, it’s going in the direction of my most clumsy escapade yet. I was leaving my house yesterday morning and I was walking to meet a friend. I gave her a call as I was leaving to let her know I was on my way, and at that exact moment, I tripped over a bit of loose pavement and threw my phone straight down the stormwater drain. I was in disbelief, and started freaking out that the whole neighbourhood would suddenly start having blocked drain problems. Oakleigh is very busy, so if I had just managed to block the drains across the entire suburb in a split second, that would be disastrous. I seriously am the most clumsy person in the world. 

Needless to say, I didn’t end up meeting my friend. I couldn’t even let her know that I couldn’t come anymore because my phone was literally down the drain. The whole situation was a disaster. I had to borrow the phone of someone walking by to call a local plumber, using a phone number on the side of a bus advertising drain inspection services. Melbourne residents can’t survive with anything less than the best, especially if it involves their plumbing. I really didn’t want to be the person responsible for ruining the plumbing in the entirety of the southeastern suburbs. God, I’m such a mess. I wish I wasn’t such a klutz.