The Tranquil Cushion

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Yet another parade of foolish wannabes on Lizard’s Lair, AKA the show I watch when The Great Australian Trade-Off isn’t airing. I hear it’s definitely getting a third season, but that’s going to be months away, so it’s this and Escape to the Country. I’m not overly keen on Echolocation. I think it’s sparking a lot of excitement over an idea that probably won’t work.

The obligatory good idea this week was from a guy who used to work as a conveyancing and settlement professional for twenty years. He’s seen the industry change, he’s seen the property market shift and become even more competitive, and he’s come up with an answer. And that answer…is a cushion that makes people feel relaxed.

Okay, it’s really hard to explain in words, but the way he explained it was that buying a home is one of the most stressful things you can do. People come and see conveyancing and settlement people and it all seems very official and…binding. Like, so much paperwork, and you’re spending a huge amount of money on something that’ll tie you to one place, and you’re going to have to do loads of renovation to make it your dream home, and the mortgage is going to plague you for decades, and what if the area becomes less child-friendly as people move away?

All of these concerns and more are playing in people’s heads. Conveyancing offices often try to make people calm down in their own ways, but this guy developed a seat cushion that releases a special mix of aroma-therapeutic scents that calm you right down and make you think straight. The Lizards all sat on them and they were all super-chilled after that. So he got a bajillion dollars, these cushions will be in every conveyancing office in Carlton and beyond, and now I want one. Surely this isn’t a conveyancing specific thing. Anyone sitting in a chair, in a stressful job, will need some of this goodness.